Presents…or Presence…for your beloved

It’s the holidays! What GIFT are you giving to your Beloved this year? How will you express your holiday love to that most important person in your life? Maybe you’re lucky and know exactly what they would like. Perhaps you’ve exchanged lists with each other, eliminating the bother of returning unwanted gifts. (Or maybe you don’t even exchange gifts.)

Regardless of the actual presents you’re choosing, be sure to share your very real PRESENCE with each other – not only during the holidays, but all year long.

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Presence can mean simply showing up, being physically near. There is great comfort in closeness. Yet presence is also more than that, more than just being at home watching TV together,

A listening presence means focusing exclusively on our partner, offering them the opportunity to safely reveal their feelings and thoughts when they are with us. All humans yearn to be received, to be heard, with such presence. We may find this in a compassionate therapist’s office, or even at an AA meeting. Make time for this type of listening with your partner. Gift them with your listening presence.

Alone, we can gift ourselves with our own presence, such as during contemplation or meditation. Or we can imagine or sense a guide, guardian angel or our own higher self, listening to us. Their willing presence is always attentive and unwavering.

At spiritual gatherings, we share the experience of group presence. We support one another, hold space for each other. This invites us to tap into our own souls, to delve into our essence, to settle softly into our own beingness. The quiet peacefulness of a meditation group, a yoga or tai chi class, highlights this shared presence, as we each explore our own sense of Self. Instead of being separated by our stories, we are joined by our mutual participation in the Oneness of an all-pervasive, ever-present intelligent energy.

In a relationship, we have at our side someone with whom we already share a deep personal love. Our partner is neither our therapist nor a spiritual group participant. Here at our side, and in our bed, is a flesh and blood human being who has chosen, to the best of their ability, to be close to us, to be intimate.

This holiday season, take time to gift your Beloved with Tantric presence. Gaze upon your beloved with eyes that reveal your own soul, and see the spiritual nature that lies beneath your separateness. Breathe with your beloved, letting the breath move in and out of your bodies, mingling in the space between you, returning over and over again to the source of sacred breath deep within you. Stand naked in the mystery and joy of holy union. Share the gift of exquisite and delicious presence with each other.

This season, bring Tantric presence into your relationship by adding a few extra seconds to each kiss, to each touch. Create pauses in your togetherness, make time for when there is nothing to do, nothing to say. Abide in the love that circulates between you. Ask for, and give, the daily time necessary to make this a purposeful practice. Listen to one another, listen with your heart. Look at each other in your moments of passion. Recognize and appreciate that when you share your vital life force with another, a cellular transformation takes place that energizes you from the inside out.

And, because we are all truly connected, your Tantric practice contributes to the ongoing presence of love in our whole world. The giving and receiving of presence is truly a holiday gift that keeps on giving.

© Diana Daffner

Diana Daffner

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