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Meditations and Ceremonies
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Meditation is a process of attuning yourself to the rhythm of silence that flows within you. There are many approaches to meditation, various ways of learning to focus your attention so that you can sense the vibrant stillness.

When you meditate together with your beloved, you enter into your own internal flow as well as sharing a loving state of awareness. You become truly present to one another. This is both meditation and ceremony.

"When People participate in ceremony, they enter a sacred space.
Everything outside of that space fades in importance,
time takes on a different dimension.
Emotions flow more freely.
And the bodies of participants
become filled with the energy of life,
and this energy reaches out
and blesses the creation around them.
All is made new.
Everything becomes sacred."
                  Sun Bear, Native American Teacher
 

• One Breath
• Heart Connection
• "I Am Here"
• Thanksgiving Ceremony for Lovers
• Easy Sexual Meditation
• Read this poem to one another: The Lover's Touch,
now available on CD!

Meditation: One Breath (adapted from a Sufi practice)
   Please repeat the cycle of this meditation, over and over,
   for at least several minutes, preferably longer!
   Let your breath flow easily, in and out.

Sit comfortably facing one another, upright, so that you can see easily into each other's eyes.

(You can also do this meditation alone, or together with your eyes closed.)

Your bodies could be joined sexually, or your bodies could be close and touching.

Feel your Beloved's gaze rest softly on you.
Begin to pay attention to your breathing.

Breathing, while  your Beloved is gazing at you.

After awhile, imagine that you are breathing for your Beloved.
Every breath in, and every breath out,
is providing the gift of life for your Beloved.

Continue to feel your Beloved's gaze on your eyes.

Know that your Beloved is breathing for you.
Is breathing a vital life force into and through you.

As you are breathing for your Beloved.

Every breath in, and every breath out,
is providing the gift of life for your Beloved.

Together you are breathing for everyone you know and love.
Together you are breathing for the whole planet.
You are breathing for your Beloved.
Your Beloved is breathing for you.

There is One Breath
The Eternal Breath
The Only Breath
Nothing Exists save Breath

VARIATION / CONTINUATION (flowing through hands)

Separate yourselves if you are joined sexually.

Sit comfortably facing one another.
If you use chairs, place a pillow across both your knees.
On the pillow, place your left hand palm up,
and your right hand palm down onto your Beloved's left hand.
Or find another sitting position, facing each other, that is comfortable for you,
and place your palms this way.

As you and your Beloved continue to breathe
For one another
Imagine Love from your Beloved flowing into your left palm,
Up your left arm and into your heart,
Filling your heart

Breathe for your Beloved in your heart

Imagine Love flowing down from your heart to your sex.
Filling your sex

Slowly squeeze then release your sex muscles (PC)
Breathe for your Beloved in your sex

Imagine Love flowing out your right arm to your right hand

As you continue to gaze softly into your Beloved's eyes,
And your Beloved breathes for you.

Your breath and your Love are for one another

Together you are breathing for the whole planet.
Together you are Loving for the whole planet.

There is One Breath
The Eternal Breath
The Only Breath
Nothing Exists save Breath

Meditation: Heart Connection

This is a very quick way to establish Heart harmony with your Beloved.

Sit or stand facing one another, about two feet apart, and close your eyes, for about two long breaths, in and out.

Open your eyes, and gaze silently into the eyes of your Beloved.  (If you open your eyes first, wait for them to open their eyes, while you gaze upon them with love.)

Continue to gaze silently into one another’s eyes for several long breaths, in and out.

Then close your eyes again.  (If your Beloved closes their eyes first, then you close yours.)

With your eyes closed, imagine that your Beloved is still gazing at you.  Let your Beloved see into your Heart center, located in the middle of your chest, the place protected by your rib cage.  Allow your own breath to fill your Heart.

When you open your eyes again, and you see into your Beloved's eyes, imagine that not only your eyes are connected, but also your Hearts.

Continue to gaze into one another’s eyes for several long breaths, in and out.

Repeat.  Each time you close your eyes, imagine that you are inviting your Beloved to see into your body.   Move your inner attention downward to your belly, then your sex, your thighs, all the way down to the soles of your feet.

Each time you open your eyes, maintain eye contact with your Beloved, and breathe.   Notice how the Heart connection between you continues to grow stronger and glow brighter!

Try doing this Heart Connection in the middle of love-making!  Even if only one of you does it, both will experience a deeper and more intimate connection.
 

Meditation: "I Am Here"

Here are the steps for an intimate experience of spirit.  Both of you can read the instructions before beginning (or one explain to the other.)

Repeating these steps only once or twice daily can change forever the way you relate to each other.  Sharing spiritual intimacy transforms your relationship into a love affair!

Also try doing this meditation in the nude:  before, during and/or after physical lovemaking!

1 Choose a location that is quiet and private.  You can create a supportive environment by using dimmers or candles.  Keep it light enough to to see each other's eyes.  Burn some incense.  Play relaxing music very quietly in the background.  Or be outside in nature.

2 You can sit on the floor, meditation style, or use two chairs facing each other.  (Or you can be joined sexually.)  Place a pillow across your laps so that you can comfortably reach each others’ hands.  The goal is to be have your backs comfortably upright, with your faces and hearts pointed toward each other.  You want to be able to sense a connection between the base of your spine, through your heart, to the top of your head.   And from your heart to your Beloved's heart.

3 On the pillow, place your left hands palm up, and your right hands palm down onto your Beloved's right hand.  Let your hands be relaxed and softly connected.  (Or you can be joined sexually.)

4 Close your eyes and count slowly (silently) from one to nine.  While you are counting, notice your body relaxing.  Feel how the chair or floor supports your body.  Notice when your breathing changes, without trying to control it.

5 After reaching the count of nine, allow your eyes to slowly open.  Whether or not your Beloved's eyes are also open, gaze upon your beloved, making eye contact when their eyes also open.

6  Once both of you establish eye contact, remain in that joyous connection for a few moments or as long as feels comfortable.   Allow your beloved to see into your soul through your eyes, while you continue to breathe and feel the support of the floor and/or your chair.  Let your attention move between the different sensations in your body.

7 When you (or your beloved) are ready to close your eyes again, you (or your beloved) will say out loud to the other, “I AM HERE.”   Wait a moment for the words to settle into the atmosphere.  When we speak from a meditative space, the words resound in our hearts.   Listen and feel the effect of these words.  Then, the other responds, “I AM HERE”.

8 After a moment, both of you will close your eyes again for nine counts.  Repeat steps 4 - 7 at least one more time, and as often as you like.

9 When you are ready to end the meditation, each of you places your own hands palms together (prayer position) and holds them in front of your own heart center (center of your chest area).  Continuing eye contact, you bow slightly to each other!  Bowing this way honors the godself in one another, the heart of who we are.  It is an acknowledgment of our inner glory and shared joy.

NOTE: Allow yourselves to experiment and expand upon this meditation.  For example, you may find yourself saying different words.  “I am here” is very powerful; so is “I love you”, “I will always be here” or “I am with you in spirit.”

You may find yourself doing it while standing and holding hands in the kitchen!   This is wonderful to do if one person lies down while the other sits beside them.  The sitting person places their hands on the reclining person's heart and sex.  Then trade places!

A Thanksgiving Ceremony

This is a simple ceremony that can be done at any time on Thanksgiving. Before the relatives arrive, while they are there, or after they leave! It can be a heart-warming prelude to physical intimacy. Or this ceremony is also powerful performed as a stolen kiss, a few quick moments while the guests are busy elsewhere!

It is helpful if both of you read these directions, but one of you can read it and explain to the other.

What follows is a list of gratitude statements. Print them out or write your own. Cut the paper into strips, with each of the gratitude statements on separate pieces of paper.  Fold the pieces of paper and place them in a pretty bowl or on a small silk cloth. Also have ready an empty bowl or another small cloth.

When you are ready for the ceremony, bring yourselves and the bowls to a private room. If you have time, create a ceremonial atmosphere by lighting a candle and, if you like, some incense. Play soft, relaxing music. Fresh flowers add an element of beauty. However, if you are stealing a moment in the midst of a busy day of guests, simply close the door to be alone.

When you are ready to begin, stand facing each other. Relax and become aware of your breathing. Turn your bodies and faces toward each other and make eye contact.  Silently muse on the fact that this person looking into your eyes right now is your lover, perhaps your spouse, your partner, perhaps the mother or father of your children.  Perhaps you are new lovers. Regardless of any conflicts that may currently exist, you know that you love each other. Or you are exploring love. And you are ready to share and celebrate the truth and potential of that love.

As you continue to silently gaze into each other's eyes, take at least two or three deep breaths. Then, one of you picks up a folded piece of paper. Look at the paper, and read the statement silently. Then, looking into your Beloved's eyes, say the statement to him or her.

Your partner responds by reaching out to take your hands, saying:  I love you.

Continuing eye contact and handholding, after taking a relaxing breath, your partner repeats the same gratitude statement back to you. You respond: I love you.

After another breath or two, you separate, each of you placing your own hands palms together (prayer position) and holding them in front of your own heart center (center of your chest area). Continuing eye contact, you bow slightly to each other!  Bowing this way honors the godself in one another, the heart of who we are.

Place the paper in the empty bowl. The second person then takes a new gratitude statement and the same procedure is followed. Feel free to change the words or add your own. Be open to feelings of love and tenderness. By participating in ceremony, you are creating a powerful field of intentional energy. Become aware of this larger space that the two of you share. This is an expanded dimension, a place where love exists without struggle.

You can do this ceremony using only one or two statements, or you can do all of the statements at one time. If you spend only one minute each day in ceremonial gratitude, your lives - and your love life - will change forever.

Please let us know if you perform this ceremony and how it affects you. You do not have to limit it to Thanksgiving Day!!  Thank you.

Thank you for being in my life.
 

Thank you for looking into my eyes.
 

Thank you for being here with me right now.
 

Thank you for being present.
 

Thank you for everything you do for me.
 

Thank you for warming my heart.
 

Thank you for allowing me to love you.
 

Thank you for hearing me.
 

Thank you for sharing this moment.
 

Thank you for being you.
 

Thank you for allowing me to be me.
 

Thank you for growing with me.
 

Thank you for seeing me.
 

Thank you for touching me.
 

Thank you for showing up.

Easy Sexual Meditation
 

To enter into "easy sexual meditation" during love making:

1.  Select music that encourages inner focus.  Experiment to find something that both of you like.  Using the same music repetitively will be an aid to setting the mood for meditation.  Avoid radio stations or fast-paced rhythms.  Silence is wonderful.

2.   Be sure there is enough illumination so that you can softly gaze into each other’s eyes.

3.   A seated position, woman on man’s lap, is best but not required.  Start with whatever position feels comfortable for you!  Erection may be lost in the transition to sexual meditation.  If the penis slips out of the vagina, it can be “stuffed” back in.  Lubrication helps.  Or the penis can remain outside of the vagina, resting against the outer lips and clitoris.  Firmness is not necessary.  Both partners internally squeeze and release their own sexual muscles, bringing energy to the genital area.

4.   Stop moving or caressing, allow your passion to settle down into quietness.  In sexual meditation there is no “doing” of one another.  Your bodies stay sensual yet still, allowing you to pay attention to your inner universe.  Spontaneous movements may occur from time to time as the energy moves through you.

5.   Maintaining eye contact, take a deep breath through your nose, and let the exhale escape through your mouth.

6.  Continuing to maintain eye contact, place your attention in your genitals.  As you take a deep breath, imagine that the breath is going directly into your sexual organs, filling and expanding them. Maintaining eye contact, hold your breath for a moment, containing this powerful energy in your genitals.  Then release the breath through your mouth.  Do this together, three times.   Continue gazing into each other’s eyes as you breathe normally, internally acknowledging and welcoming the sharing of your sexual energy.

7.   Bring your attention to your “heart center”, the area of your chest centered between and behind your breasts, inside your rib cage.  Maintaining eye contact, take a deep breath, hold it for a moment as your “heart center” fills up, and then exhale. Look softly into your Beloved’s eyes, and feel your love for one another.  Do this together, three times.  Allow your Beloved to look into your eyes, as you breathe normally, experiencing the meaning of intimacy as “in-to-me-see”, letting the healing presence of love surround you.

Alternate between steps 6 and 7 for fifteen minutes.  Be as distinct as you can.   You can say aloud to each other the word “sex” as you move your attention to the genitals, and “heart” when you shift to the heart center.  This helps to keep you synchronized, in union with one another.   Sometimes you may say “sex” when your partner says “heart”!  Always remember the importance of patience, humor, delight and open communication.

After "easy sexual meditation", you might want to return to more active love making.  Or you may wish to bring the session to a close, slowly separating from one another as you maintain eye contact.  Each of you place your left hand on your own heart center, and cover your partner’s hand with your right hand on their heart.

Honor one another for sharing this meditation together.   While at first there may be no tangible experience that you can point to, continue to do the practice and be open to what occurs.  Feel free to contact us for further advice!